All This Time Is Wasted, Pretending That We're In Love
by Rah.RaZorBlade
Summary: -Dean/Castiel/Balthazar. - -OOC- Dean can't help but feel as tho his lovers are leaving him out.


'Maybe they don't need me anymore.' the thoughts were running through Dean's head as he peeked through the open door at his 2 lovers hugging and laughing with each other. He furiously wiped away the tears.  
He walked into the kitchen, pulling out some leftover dinner from the night before, putting it in the microwave for 1 minute and nibbled at it. He wasn't hungry, the depressed, unwanted feeling made him want to vomit.  
"There you are!" Balthazar smiled at him.

Dean gave the best smile he could, not noticing he still had tears In his eyes. To Balthazar, he just looked like a pathetic abused puppy.

"Dean? What's the matter?" He asked worriedly. Walking over and standing In front of him.  
Dean shook his head, feeling his throat tighten.  
"Nothing, do you need anything from the shops?" He coughed, hoping to make his voice sound less weak.  
Castiel walked into the kitchen, noticing the intense atmosphere.  
"Don't you say nothing is wrong. I know you're upset about something, what is it? What's wrong?" Balthazar asked seriously.  
Dean sobbed, turning his head away from his men.  
"Dean?"

Castiel stepped forward.  
"I can't- I don't belong here- with you two." Dean sobbed.  
Castiel cupped his cheeks.  
"Don't say that! Why do you say that?"  
Dean wiped his eyes.  
"Because I see the way you look at each other, you talk together, leave me out of things and ignore me. I just don't feel..." He sniffed.  
Balthazar was about to slap him, but Castiel grabbed his wrist before he could strike.

"We love you Dean, you know that! You're always on a hunt or with Sam, We try to spend time with you but you refuse to let us!"  
"Don't yell at him!" Castiel snapped at Balthazar.  
"No, he's right! Why should I even try!" Dean yelled.  
"Yeah! Why should you?! Cas, I told you this was never going to work with HIM, a human!"  
"Don't say that!" Castiel slapped The other angel across the face.  
"Don't you DARE say that, you love him just as much as I do! You were the one who made us a three- grouped team, Balthazar! And you can't take it back just like that! We love him, we NEED him!"

Balthazar groaned.  
"I know, I know."  
Castiel stepped forward and held Dean's hand.  
"We love you. I'm sorry. You are always busy, I didn't realise it upset you."  
Balthazar stepped forward and kissed Dean on the cheek. Dean turned his head away.  
"I'm gonna go get dinner."

He didn't go to the supermarket, like he said. He sat on the bonnet of his car by a river side, staring into the rippling water.  
A flutter of wings were heard and he didn't have to turn his head to know who it was.  
"I thought you were going to get dinner?" Balthazar said walking over to Dean.

"I got distracted." Dean whispered.  
"Babe?" Balthazar stood in front of the other. His hands on Dean's thighs.  
"I just need to be alone. I'll come home soon."  
He didn't look up at his boyfriend, not once.  
"No, I'm staying with you."  
Dean groaned, sliding off the bonnet and getting in the car. Balthazar re-appeared in the passenger seat.  
"Just talk to me."  
"Why do I screw everything up? You and Castiel are the best things to ever happen to me... And I-"  
"Don't you say it. Don't even think it. I love you- we love you. I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean the things I said. I need you, and I don't ever show you that."  
Dean nodded.  
"I think I just want to be alone for now."

Balthazar frowned.  
"Not a chance."  
"What are you two doing? I was starting to get worried!"  
Castiel appeared in the back seat.  
Dean looked in the review mirror.  
"Nothing, Cas. Why don't you go back home? You too, Balthazar."  
"Would you stop trying to order me around!" Balthazar snapped.  
Castiel glared at him.  
"We're all going home. Drive home, Dean."

When they got home. Dean went straight to their bedroom and flopped onto the bed.  
He heard the door squeak quietly and felt the weight of another body lay beside him, wrapping their arm and wings around his torso.  
"Balthazar is downstairs drinking. He thinks this is all his fault. He won't let me help him, make him happy."  
Dean frowned.  
"Don't cry." Castiel sighed sympathetically.  
"Do I make you happy, Cas?"Dean whispered.  
"Of course you do, Dean. You and Balthazar both make me happy. You know that, don't you?" Castiel asked.  
Dean shrugged.  
"Mm.. I guess."  
"I love you."  
"Yeah..."  
Dean turned to face Castiel. Burring his head into his chest.

Balthazar walked into the room a while later. He had showered and smelt like a mix of raspberry and vanilla.  
Castiel sat up a little, trying not to wake the human laying on him.  
"How is he?"  
Castiel frowned.  
"He didn't even tell me, he loves me. I think he needs help... Not our help but from one of those people who help others... You know?"  
"A doctor?" Balthazar suggested with a raised eye brow.  
"Yeah. One of them."  
"Why do you say that?"  
"Well I looked up all symptoms he's had lately, and it keeps coming up with something called 'Depression' and it says 'to see a doctor.'"  
"Depression?"  
"Uh-huh. It says people could purposely hurt themselves from having this, some people even have suicidal thoughts."  
Balthazar gulped.  
"We'll take him there tomorrow."  
Cas nodded.

Balthazar walked over to the other side of the bed, laying down next to Dean. He stroked his lover's hair and kissed him on the cheek. Castiel retracted his wings as he felt Balthazar's cover the three of them.

No matter what he'll try to keep his men safe.


End file.
